Rustless

by Jacob Greenleaf

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05:02
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04:41
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06:08
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07:12
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04:27
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05:35
10.
05:29

credits

released February 17, 2017

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Jacob Greenleaf Seattle, Washington

I strive to connect with the divine and personal through songwriting. For the moment I live in Seattle, parent two kids half time, and work full time. I occasionally play open mics in the area, and am working slowly toward building an audience. Please feel free to contact me, I make every effort to respond to every communication. ... more

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Track Name: Superman
Every day of my life is a struggle, I work - I try to keep out of trouble
I drink a little beer on the weekends, and I've got rivals but I've got good friends
I think I do the best that I can do, anyone can see that I'm just like you
Conflicted and absent direction, and kinda keen upon my own reflection

Superman puts the "man" in "command"
American flag pole glued to his hand
No personal conflict, no selfish demands
All of his ideals are lofty and grand
He’d never hurt no-one if it wasn't planned
Some folks admire that but I think he's bland
Forgive me, but I really just don't understand
How anyone could ever relate to superman

Now Batman was conceived in upheaval, he could just as easily have ended up evil
His fury is the reason he's benevolent, and in his methods fear and violence are prevalent
He struggles to exhibit forbearance, but really he wants vengeance for the deaths of his parents
The anti-hero in a tragic operetta, he's possessed by his obsessive vendetta

Superman never loses a fight
He never gets tired you know he's always polite
He's never disloyal and he's never uptight
He's a clean-shaven, white anglo Christ in tights
He never has to worry if he's doing what's right
He only has that mild allergy to kryptonite
Forgive me, but I really just don't understand
How anyone could ever relate to superman

Now Peter Parker had average athletics, until a spider modified his genetics
Then killed his uncle through his own self-importance, now he swings round New York in yoga-pants
He's going through his life with that fear of the kind of debt that you can never get clear of
Although he has a lot to believe in, there's simply no way he can ever get even

Superman's always got perfect hair
Of course he's immune to both greed and despair
He never gets angry, he's got no need to swear
In losing battles he'll always fight fair
He's done no evil deeds, at least none of which he's aware
And unencumbered like that it's easy to zip through the air
Forgive me, but I really just don't understand
How anyone could ever relate to superman

My preference then is pretty consistent, I like a champion who isn't so distant
And someone who's a little imperfect, give me a person with some personal conflict
I like my heroes more realistic, not just super-strong and ballistic
Standing up tall is fine all around, but I'm just not that impressed if you can never fall down

The archetype of the man of steel
You know that he has nothing he needs to conceal
He never lifts weights yet his body's ideal
He's somehow on time for every major ordeal
I'll never digest his extensive appeal
That level of perfection is simply too unreal
Forgive me, but I really just don't understand
How the mythos got started how the whole thing began
Why they know him by sight from Sioux Falls to Sudan
How anyone could ever relate
Why does everybody think he's so great?
Superman
Track Name: Lost Love
Lost love doesn't hurt the way it used to
My heart just can't be broken like it was new
When I sit and ponder me, the way I know I used to be
I'm glad I can't remember you like I could do

A broken heart's still painful as it should be
I can't imagine what could ever make me
Pine the way I know I pined the day that you left me behind
And wished like hell that I could make you take me

You may say that I've gone blind
The world could burn, I wouldn't mind
All those loose ends I've left untied
The door left closed, the latch untried

Perfect times we had they're all behind me
Memories in the quiet times remind me
That I will never ever know the way that our lives didn't go
And that I will never see our perfect little family
The way it was supposed to be
Me for you and you with me
Lost love just don't hurt like that, it's true
Not since you

You may say that I've gone blind
The world could burn, I wouldn't mind
All those loose ends I've left untied
The door left closed, the latch untried

Perfect times we had they're all behind me
Memories in the quiet times remind me
That I will never ever know the way that our lives didn't go
And that I will never see our perfect little family
The way it was supposed to be
Me for you and you with me
Lost love just don't hurt like that, it's true
Not since you
Track Name: Bedtime Songs
Songs played at bedtime hold tiring eyes awake
Simple and moral they harden our mistaken
belief like season, all this heartache has a reason

My sweet our eyes meet and certainty belie
Will you take this heartbreak for clear blue sky
While our fingers twine, "close your eyes now you'll be fine"

And though I'll never be again
Where the pages stretch endless
to the other side
It's my obligation to defend
the province I lost -
and never count the cost

Ambrose my heart knows you'll wander in the world
Margaret you will forget that you were daddy's little girl
in the course of living. Can this heartache be forgiven?

But for tonight your eyes light and steal away the doubt
Plead me remember what now I live without
That aegis of a fiction, the shielding power of conviction

When time reaffirms that old cliché
That truth is the enemy
of happiness
And all the illusions wash away
Return to this night
It's gonna be alright

Songs played at bedtime to heavy-lidded eyes
When you are older you'll see they all were lies
but for the little time you borrow, save that heartache till tomorrow
for the little time you borrow, save that heartache till tomorrow
Track Name: The Hunt
Kneeling down beside the river, one last message to deliver
A final arrow in his quiver silent as he lies
Sight alights upon the quarry, aims to claim his father's glory
A bitter and foreshortened story; empty handed cries

Frigid is the rolling river, wade in till I start to shiver
In my chest an icy sliver slips unnoticed by
Bloodied feet upon the shore will carry all my weight before
I cannot feel them anymore; I cannot even try

Which without I have to doubt I'll make it back this time
Wonder where this winding stair will see our hearts entwine
Swift the stag and cold the rain and snow beneath my feet
Death is the trade we make to be alive
I never once intended to survive

Scrabbles up the misty shale, bow discarded down the trail
Listens through the mountain veil for hoof-beats on the stone
Sniffs the air to find his way, eyes the ground for signs of prey
The hunt is ever underway, there is no going home

Just one task to execute, my heart is pumping resolute
my animal is in pursuit, remembering by blood
Steel extending from my hand, no malice in my reprimand
No time to climb this spit of sand before the coming flood

Which without I have to doubt I'll make it back this time
Wonder where this winding stair will see our hearts entwine
Swift the stag and cold the rain and snow beneath my feet
Death is the trade we make to be alive
I never once intended to survive

Strongly smell his resignation, waiting on this consummation
in his eyes no accusation, no more questions why
Feel the moment drawing near, our separateness will disappear
Down my cheek, a single tear is whispering goodbye

Pouncing to the ledge below, time elongates with the blow
Crimson brine a viscous flow around the piercing steel
The two at last becoming one, for I am he and he undone
The serpent and the setting sun, the staddle and the wheel

Which without I have to doubt I'll make it back this time
Wonder where this winding stair will see our hearts entwine
Swift the stag and cold the rain and snow beneath my feet
Death is the trade we make to be alive
I never once intended to survive

Which without I have to doubt I'll make it back this time
Wonder where this winding stair will see our hearts entwine
Swift the stag and cold the rain and snow beneath my feet
Death is the trade we make to be alive
I never once intended to survive
Track Name: When I Think About You
Whenever I think about you my jaw gets tight and I'm not quite right
Nausea wells up in my throat, I start to choke and my knuckles go white
The pressure builds up in my head and I wish I were dead
Or at least far from here
The thought of that look in your eyes makes my blood pressure rise
It's just so insincere
I wish that I could forgive you, though to say you deserve it's untrue
It's just that it's bad for my health when I think about you

Whenever I look at your face I feel intensely all tense and defensive
Biting my lip while I smile and tasting the bile trying not to look pensive
I'm glad I could not make it fly cause I would rather die
Than live my life that way
I only wish that you could see how transparent to me
Are all the lies that you say
I know I'd be in the right space, if I could move past this with grace
It's just that it's hell on my nerves when I look at your face

When we have occasion to talk I have to prepare, I take deep breaths of air
Every second will seem like an hour and I'll want a shower through the whole damned affair
Your jokes will amuse you and I'll wish you just knew
How shallow and cocky you seem
But I'll stand there smiling while you feel beguiling
like I'm buying into your scheme
I'll wish I could speed up the clock; I'll stare like I've gone into shock
Cause it's torture on every occasion that we have to talk

Whenever I think about you my jaw gets tight and I'm not quite right
Track Name: Going Anyway
He takes his time - he shakes the scent of her body off
Breathes deep - it makes him feel like he's man enough
But she won't set him down until she has to go
Eclipsing all he knows with that familiar sting
His heart clings

Slips out the door - up the stairs from the cafe bookstore to the street
He's soaking wet - trying to forget the rain around his feet
Wincing and wishing he'd been born immune
But how that summer moon's remembered tune just rings
His heart clings

Try to wash away that old cliché,
Regret, he hasn't done it yet, but you can bet he'll try
Even if it's as original as auld lang syne
The words are hard to find when they mean 'goodbye'

Now he's lying - taxi back-seat pointed home again
Heart aches from yearning - his mind is tired of trying to comprehend
He'd like to fly but she's inside his head
A mix of joy and dread, instead has clipped his wings
His heart clings

Back at home - the silent room is heavy on his chest
He could put on music - chooses instead to sit and self-assess
(Second guess what he should have said)
And wonder if it's possible she feels the same
Then softly speak her name to the song the silence sings
His heart clings

Savor all the sadness that you can't let go
Drink it deep and know you'll never be complete
Try to stand up - although you're fettered to that knowing how
It's probably better now admitting your defeat

This icy lake - make no mistake, it feels like a sunny day
So what if he's drowning - he'd take this over going any other way
Lifting the shell his heart is so entwined
It's endlessly unkind, the longing that it brings
His heart clings

This isn't the first time we've been down this road
Scars it has bestowed still pinch when stretched today
Now admit that even though you know just where it leads
That doesn't mean that you aren't going anyway
You're going anyway
Going anyway
Going anyway
Going anyway
Going anyway
Going anyway
Track Name: Where Are You?
Where are you my daughter; where are you my son?
This house feels so empty when our time is done
Not that I get lonely, no I like to be alone
Still I worry for your hearts when you’re not home

Winter’s got his coat off, nights are getting long
I keep the home fire burning, I keep the porch light on
Precious independence, ascending grace
How can I warn you about the lies you face?

Because I have been betrayed by the ones I trust
It’s so much worse, them thinking themselves just
I knew I had to run away, I lost my faith along the way
and burned some sturdy bridges into dust
I pray the same thing don’t become of us

They project transcendence, they talk of love and art
A beatific mask to hide the darkest heart
They come to you with presents, promises and praise
and never feel a hint of guilt, say what they want to say

I’m sitting by the wood stove, awaiting your return
I pluck the guitar softly, some new song to learn
When you’re back in my arms, I’ll hold you tight
Try to make you ready for the coming night

Because I have been betrayed by the ones I trust
It’s so much worse, them thinking themselves just
I knew I had to run away, I lost my faith along the way
and burned some sturdy bridges into dust
I pray the same thing don’t become of us

Please say the same thing won’t become of us
Track Name: Jack Pine
Feels like I've been wasting my time
Like I've been holding on a telephone line
Looking at the world from the side
Dragging me along for the ride
And I know what it means to have unfulfilled dreams
In an endless routine on an aimless tide

But all the things I've waited to be
Now it seems like they were waiting for me
The callus of my thickening skin
I got waiting on my ship to come in
I know now why I withdrew, reborn anew
Please forgive what you knew, my shriveled, hollow twin

Even folks who've treated me kind
Will sometimes say that I've lost my mind
And any anyone who saw me begin
Knows I ain't the man that I've been
This transformation of mine, like that old Jack Pine
It needed fire by design, behold what sleeps within

This transformation of mine, like that old Jack Pine
It needed fire by design, behold what sleeps within
Track Name: Rustless
We alight, lift in flight; falling snow will make the night silently go
Eyes that say come this way to the glow that calls away all the things that we know

Cold hand in my pocket as we walk
Twilight on the clock, the dawn is coming soon
Shed the pre-dawn darkness in her eyes
The sun will shortly rise and tell the setting moon
I set fire to this room

Severing the silver string lift the stone on pillowed wing to fearless unknown
Bitter cold then loses hold and so the fear will then unfold into the clear

Chatter turns to silence in the heart
The world is torn apart, the sacred and profane
Scatter past the boundaries of the play
Carrying away the yearning to explain
What is true will remain

We succumb, bodies numb, as we return the sleep will come and ask what we learned
But though we strain we can't contain as we descend we don't retain the means to transcend

Warmth of covered bodies taking rest
like a baby at the breast the sheltering embrace
The vastness of the universe outside
Its oneness will subside, but leave behind this trace
Here in this moment is grace

Now though this rut has rusted shut that memory it still can cut some lost part of me
And when I bleed it waters seed which cracks cement the sprouting reed my spirit's ascent

Warmth of covered body taking rest
opening my chest, empty of concern
The vastness of the universe inside
the window open wide awaiting my return
My son, what did you learn?
Track Name: Make It Real
Stranded on the edge by the water's high mark marooned
Balancing the rod of judgment on the end of a spoon
Giving up as the truth's defender, arms wide open to signal surrender
To the coming monsoon
And honoring the dead in the little time left before noon

Dusting off the granite tablets left behind by the gods
I'm slipping past the checkpoint desk while the security nods
Muttering to myself in a dream, feed this spirit sea salt and steam,
And cardamom pods
I never would have taken this gamble if I'd known the odds

Seize that which seems to be
Please, if you make it real
Don't forget me

I collect the good luck charms gathering dust in my cell
Every superstition that I've ever let under my shell
Hammer them into powder fine, into gel-caps taken with wine,
And toast to farewell
Nodding to the fortress unreason where the spirits all dwell

Seize that which seems to be
Please, if you make it real
Don't forget me

Walking on the sea through the twilight home to return
I’m savoring the final moments as the earth starts to churn
Liberated from my expectation, immolated by your hand's sensation,
Creation I yearn
Our fingertips touch and my tinderbox heart starts to burn

Seize that which seems to be
Please, if you make it real

Seize that which seems to be
Please, if you make it real
Don't forget me

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