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Rustless

by Jacob Greenleaf

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1.
Superman 05:02
Every day of my life is a struggle, I work - I try to keep out of trouble I drink a little beer on the weekends, and I've got rivals but I've got good friends I think I do the best that I can do, anyone can see that I'm just like you Conflicted and absent direction, and kinda keen upon my own reflection Superman puts the "man" in "command" American flag pole glued to his hand No personal conflict, no selfish demands All of his ideals are lofty and grand He’d never hurt no-one if it wasn't planned Some folks admire that but I think he's bland Forgive me, but I really just don't understand How anyone could ever relate to superman Now Batman was conceived in upheaval, he could just as easily have ended up evil His fury is the reason he's benevolent, and in his methods fear and violence are prevalent He struggles to exhibit forbearance, but really he wants vengeance for the deaths of his parents The anti-hero in a tragic operetta, he's possessed by his obsessive vendetta Superman never loses a fight He never gets tired you know he's always polite He's never disloyal and he's never uptight He's a clean-shaven, white anglo Christ in tights He never has to worry if he's doing what's right He only has that mild allergy to kryptonite Forgive me, but I really just don't understand How anyone could ever relate to superman Now Peter Parker had average athletics, until a spider modified his genetics Then killed his uncle through his own self-importance, now he swings round New York in yoga-pants He's going through his life with that fear of the kind of debt that you can never get clear of Although he has a lot to believe in, there's simply no way he can ever get even Superman's always got perfect hair Of course he's immune to both greed and despair He never gets angry, he's got no need to swear In losing battles he'll always fight fair He's done no evil deeds, at least none of which he's aware And unencumbered like that it's easy to zip through the air Forgive me, but I really just don't understand How anyone could ever relate to superman My preference then is pretty consistent, I like a champion who isn't so distant And someone who's a little imperfect, give me a person with some personal conflict I like my heroes more realistic, not just super-strong and ballistic Standing up tall is fine all around, but I'm just not that impressed if you can never fall down The archetype of the man of steel You know that he has nothing he needs to conceal He never lifts weights yet his body's ideal He's somehow on time for every major ordeal I'll never digest his extensive appeal That level of perfection is simply too unreal Forgive me, but I really just don't understand How the mythos got started how the whole thing began Why they know him by sight from Sioux Falls to Sudan How anyone could ever relate Why does everybody think he's so great? Superman
2.
Lost Love 04:41
Lost love doesn't hurt the way it used to My heart just can't be broken like it was new When I sit and ponder me, the way I know I used to be I'm glad I can't remember you like I could do A broken heart's still painful as it should be I can't imagine what could ever make me Pine the way I know I pined the day that you left me behind And wished like hell that I could make you take me You may say that I've gone blind The world could burn, I wouldn't mind All those loose ends I've left untied The door left closed, the latch untried Perfect times we had they're all behind me Memories in the quiet times remind me That I will never ever know the way that our lives didn't go And that I will never see our perfect little family The way it was supposed to be Me for you and you with me Lost love just don't hurt like that, it's true Not since you You may say that I've gone blind The world could burn, I wouldn't mind All those loose ends I've left untied The door left closed, the latch untried Perfect times we had they're all behind me Memories in the quiet times remind me That I will never ever know the way that our lives didn't go And that I will never see our perfect little family The way it was supposed to be Me for you and you with me Lost love just don't hurt like that, it's true Not since you
3.
Songs played at bedtime hold tiring eyes awake Simple and moral they harden our mistaken belief like season, all this heartache has a reason My sweet our eyes meet and certainty belie Will you take this heartbreak for clear blue sky While our fingers twine, "close your eyes now you'll be fine" And though I'll never be again Where the pages stretch endless to the other side It's my obligation to defend the province I lost - and never count the cost Ambrose my heart knows you'll wander in the world Margaret you will forget that you were daddy's little girl in the course of living. Can this heartache be forgiven? But for tonight your eyes light and steal away the doubt Plead me remember what now I live without That aegis of a fiction, the shielding power of conviction When time reaffirms that old cliché That truth is the enemy of happiness And all the illusions wash away Return to this night It's gonna be alright Songs played at bedtime to heavy-lidded eyes When you are older you'll see they all were lies but for the little time you borrow, save that heartache till tomorrow for the little time you borrow, save that heartache till tomorrow
4.
The Hunt 06:08
Kneeling down beside the river, one last message to deliver A final arrow in his quiver silent as he lies Sight alights upon the quarry, aims to claim his father's glory A bitter and foreshortened story; empty handed cries Frigid is the rolling river, wade in till I start to shiver In my chest an icy sliver slips unnoticed by Bloodied feet upon the shore will carry all my weight before I cannot feel them anymore; I cannot even try Which without I have to doubt I'll make it back this time Wonder where this winding stair will see our hearts entwine Swift the stag and cold the rain and snow beneath my feet Death is the trade we make to be alive I never once intended to survive Scrabbles up the misty shale, bow discarded down the trail Listens through the mountain veil for hoof-beats on the stone Sniffs the air to find his way, eyes the ground for signs of prey The hunt is ever underway, there is no going home Just one task to execute, my heart is pumping resolute my animal is in pursuit, remembering by blood Steel extending from my hand, no malice in my reprimand No time to climb this spit of sand before the coming flood Which without I have to doubt I'll make it back this time Wonder where this winding stair will see our hearts entwine Swift the stag and cold the rain and snow beneath my feet Death is the trade we make to be alive I never once intended to survive Strongly smell his resignation, waiting on this consummation in his eyes no accusation, no more questions why Feel the moment drawing near, our separateness will disappear Down my cheek, a single tear is whispering goodbye Pouncing to the ledge below, time elongates with the blow Crimson brine a viscous flow around the piercing steel The two at last becoming one, for I am he and he undone The serpent and the setting sun, the staddle and the wheel Which without I have to doubt I'll make it back this time Wonder where this winding stair will see our hearts entwine Swift the stag and cold the rain and snow beneath my feet Death is the trade we make to be alive I never once intended to survive Which without I have to doubt I'll make it back this time Wonder where this winding stair will see our hearts entwine Swift the stag and cold the rain and snow beneath my feet Death is the trade we make to be alive I never once intended to survive
5.
Whenever I think about you my jaw gets tight and I'm not quite right Nausea wells up in my throat, I start to choke and my knuckles go white The pressure builds up in my head and I wish I were dead Or at least far from here The thought of that look in your eyes makes my blood pressure rise It's just so insincere I wish that I could forgive you, though to say you deserve it's untrue It's just that it's bad for my health when I think about you Whenever I look at your face I feel intensely all tense and defensive Biting my lip while I smile and tasting the bile trying not to look pensive I'm glad I could not make it fly cause I would rather die Than live my life that way I only wish that you could see how transparent to me Are all the lies that you say I know I'd be in the right space, if I could move past this with grace It's just that it's hell on my nerves when I look at your face When we have occasion to talk I have to prepare, I take deep breaths of air Every second will seem like an hour and I'll want a shower through the whole damned affair Your jokes will amuse you and I'll wish you just knew How shallow and cocky you seem But I'll stand there smiling while you feel beguiling like I'm buying into your scheme I'll wish I could speed up the clock; I'll stare like I've gone into shock Cause it's torture on every occasion that we have to talk Whenever I think about you my jaw gets tight and I'm not quite right
6.
Going Anyway 07:12
He takes his time - he shakes the scent of her body off Breathes deep - it makes him feel like he's man enough But she won't set him down until she has to go Eclipsing all he knows with that familiar sting His heart clings Slips out the door - up the stairs from the cafe bookstore to the street He's soaking wet - trying to forget the rain around his feet Wincing and wishing he'd been born immune But how that summer moon's remembered tune just rings His heart clings Try to wash away that old cliché, Regret, he hasn't done it yet, but you can bet he'll try Even if it's as original as auld lang syne The words are hard to find when they mean 'goodbye' Now he's lying - taxi back-seat pointed home again Heart aches from yearning - his mind is tired of trying to comprehend He'd like to fly but she's inside his head A mix of joy and dread, instead has clipped his wings His heart clings Back at home - the silent room is heavy on his chest He could put on music - chooses instead to sit and self-assess (Second guess what he should have said) And wonder if it's possible she feels the same Then softly speak her name to the song the silence sings His heart clings Savor all the sadness that you can't let go Drink it deep and know you'll never be complete Try to stand up - although you're fettered to that knowing how It's probably better now admitting your defeat This icy lake - make no mistake, it feels like a sunny day So what if he's drowning - he'd take this over going any other way Lifting the shell his heart is so entwined It's endlessly unkind, the longing that it brings His heart clings This isn't the first time we've been down this road Scars it has bestowed still pinch when stretched today Now admit that even though you know just where it leads That doesn't mean that you aren't going anyway You're going anyway Going anyway Going anyway Going anyway Going anyway Going anyway
7.
Where are you my daughter; where are you my son? This house feels so empty when our time is done Not that I get lonely, no I like to be alone Still I worry for your hearts when you’re not home Winter’s got his coat off, nights are getting long I keep the home fire burning, I keep the porch light on Precious independence, ascending grace How can I warn you about the lies you face? Because I have been betrayed by the ones I trust It’s so much worse, them thinking themselves just I knew I had to run away, I lost my faith along the way and burned some sturdy bridges into dust I pray the same thing don’t become of us They project transcendence, they talk of love and art A beatific mask to hide the darkest heart They come to you with presents, promises and praise and never feel a hint of guilt, say what they want to say I’m sitting by the wood stove, awaiting your return I pluck the guitar softly, some new song to learn When you’re back in my arms, I’ll hold you tight Try to make you ready for the coming night Because I have been betrayed by the ones I trust It’s so much worse, them thinking themselves just I knew I had to run away, I lost my faith along the way and burned some sturdy bridges into dust I pray the same thing don’t become of us Please say the same thing won’t become of us
8.
Jack Pine 04:27
Feels like I've been wasting my time Like I've been holding on a telephone line Looking at the world from the side Dragging me along for the ride And I know what it means to have unfulfilled dreams In an endless routine on an aimless tide But all the things I've waited to be Now it seems like they were waiting for me The callus of my thickening skin I got waiting on my ship to come in I know now why I withdrew, reborn anew Please forgive what you knew, my shriveled, hollow twin Even folks who've treated me kind Will sometimes say that I've lost my mind And any anyone who saw me begin Knows I ain't the man that I've been This transformation of mine, like that old Jack Pine It needed fire by design, behold what sleeps within This transformation of mine, like that old Jack Pine It needed fire by design, behold what sleeps within
9.
Rustless 05:35
We alight, lift in flight; falling snow will make the night silently go Eyes that say come this way to the glow that calls away all the things that we know Cold hand in my pocket as we walk Twilight on the clock, the dawn is coming soon Shed the pre-dawn darkness in her eyes The sun will shortly rise and tell the setting moon I set fire to this room Severing the silver string lift the stone on pillowed wing to fearless unknown Bitter cold then loses hold and so the fear will then unfold into the clear Chatter turns to silence in the heart The world is torn apart, the sacred and profane Scatter past the boundaries of the play Carrying away the yearning to explain What is true will remain We succumb, bodies numb, as we return the sleep will come and ask what we learned But though we strain we can't contain as we descend we don't retain the means to transcend Warmth of covered bodies taking rest like a baby at the breast the sheltering embrace The vastness of the universe outside Its oneness will subside, but leave behind this trace Here in this moment is grace Now though this rut has rusted shut that memory it still can cut some lost part of me And when I bleed it waters seed which cracks cement the sprouting reed my spirit's ascent Warmth of covered body taking rest opening my chest, empty of concern The vastness of the universe inside the window open wide awaiting my return My son, what did you learn?
10.
Make It Real 05:29
Stranded on the edge by the water's high mark marooned Balancing the rod of judgment on the end of a spoon Giving up as the truth's defender, arms wide open to signal surrender To the coming monsoon And honoring the dead in the little time left before noon Dusting off the granite tablets left behind by the gods I'm slipping past the checkpoint desk while the security nods Muttering to myself in a dream, feed this spirit sea salt and steam, And cardamom pods I never would have taken this gamble if I'd known the odds Seize that which seems to be Please, if you make it real Don't forget me I collect the good luck charms gathering dust in my cell Every superstition that I've ever let under my shell Hammer them into powder fine, into gel-caps taken with wine, And toast to farewell Nodding to the fortress unreason where the spirits all dwell Seize that which seems to be Please, if you make it real Don't forget me Walking on the sea through the twilight home to return I’m savoring the final moments as the earth starts to churn Liberated from my expectation, immolated by your hand's sensation, Creation I yearn Our fingertips touch and my tinderbox heart starts to burn Seize that which seems to be Please, if you make it real Seize that which seems to be Please, if you make it real Don't forget me

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released February 17, 2017

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Jacob Greenleaf Seattle, Washington

I strive to connect with the divine and personal through songwriting. For the moment I live in Seattle, parent two kids half time, and work full time. I occasionally play open mics in the area, and am working slowly toward building an audience. Please feel free to contact me, I make every effort to respond to every communication. ... more

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