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When I Think About You

from Rustless by Jacob Greenleaf

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lyrics

Whenever I think about you my jaw gets tight and I'm not quite right
Nausea wells up in my throat, I start to choke and my knuckles go white
The pressure builds up in my head and I wish I were dead
Or at least far from here
The thought of that look in your eyes makes my blood pressure rise
It's just so insincere
I wish that I could forgive you, though to say you deserve it's untrue
It's just that it's bad for my health when I think about you

Whenever I look at your face I feel intensely all tense and defensive
Biting my lip while I smile and tasting the bile trying not to look pensive
I'm glad I could not make it fly cause I would rather die
Than live my life that way
I only wish that you could see how transparent to me
Are all the lies that you say
I know I'd be in the right space, if I could move past this with grace
It's just that it's hell on my nerves when I look at your face

When we have occasion to talk I have to prepare, I take deep breaths of air
Every second will seem like an hour and I'll want a shower through the whole damned affair
Your jokes will amuse you and I'll wish you just knew
How shallow and cocky you seem
But I'll stand there smiling while you feel beguiling
like I'm buying into your scheme
I'll wish I could speed up the clock; I'll stare like I've gone into shock
Cause it's torture on every occasion that we have to talk

Whenever I think about you my jaw gets tight and I'm not quite right

credits

from Rustless, released February 17, 2017

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Jacob Greenleaf Seattle, Washington

I strive to connect with the divine and personal through songwriting. For the moment I live in Seattle, parent two kids half time, and work full time. I occasionally play open mics in the area, and am working slowly toward building an audience. Please feel free to contact me, I make every effort to respond to every communication. ... more

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